I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
