to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
