those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
