He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
