Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
