Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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