i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
