So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
pop tarts are not kleenex
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
