sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
