I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He felt like a one man threesome
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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