Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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