dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
