He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
