Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
