Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
