you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
