maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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