her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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