I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
