i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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