oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
