Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
