Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
