i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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