i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
