i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
