i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
