she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
