Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
