there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
