dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
