Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
