I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
