Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
