Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
