I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
