I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
