The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
