hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
