random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
