Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
