I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
