The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
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