two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
