How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
