All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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