"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
