i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
