when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I will pee on everything he values.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
