i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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