I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
