Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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